Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
