3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Alive.
So much puke
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
