i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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