I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I am available for nakedness
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
