Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
