Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
