yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
