True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
These tits shall not be calmed
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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