It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Two words: nipple clamps
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