"it" just moved
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
