So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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