The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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