ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
