I can tuck mytits in my pants
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
