DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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