I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
