his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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