ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I am naked and annoyed.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
