Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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