I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
