He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
