dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Randomize
