I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
