The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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