Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
