Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
