she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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