my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
