I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
