My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
