Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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