I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
