OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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