You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
