I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
