I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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