The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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