i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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