So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
