i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
