CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
