ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
