: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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