I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
