No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
