Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
