The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
