A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
