It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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