it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
sex in a hospital.. check
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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