...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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