you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
