Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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